November's Story

Hello Friends and Family,

I am finally coming out in the world. And true to my contrarian nature, I plan of doing this via a soulful retreat. This Thanksgiving week is the anniversary of losing my anam cara (A Celtic term: "loving soul mate"). It also marks the death of my brother. Both were connected with land and a simple cabin on the shore of Burrows Bay, near the Anacortes ferry. And it marks the final days on land that I have considered to be my heart's home.

For years I have hidden in the grove of hemlock, fir and madrone, writing the dreams and longings rising from the earth. I have found the soul of the land lives inside of me now. The stories of My brother and my soul lover, now hovering over the waters, flooding the page. So many season of longing and of living in dreams. We were going to build a home and write great poems and love the moon rising over the islands. In moments everything changed. There is only me now... and you.

The land is a beautiful park, a cemetery with standing stones marking what could have been. And it is time to move through a deeper layer of grief. And it is time to live again, celebrating who I am becoming... because of the messy life of love and the consequences of loss. This is my attempt to make the stories of my land live forever. The land has been sold to the developer that already mowed down the neighboring woodland. The bulldozers will come to my land in the winter. The trees will be cut. The standing stones will be knocked over. I want to honor this place and the paths, unseen and seen, woven through its tangled woodland.

My intention is to clear a path through my soul into the world. It's time to come out of the woods. I been lost in grief and untold stories. I've learned that the best way to heal is to be receptive to the process and the emotions and circumstances of being human. In November I intend to write 50,000 words. More importantly, I intend to let the untold truth about a love affair and a family story come forward. The truth is elusive and fickle. The truth lives in the heart, and not necessarily the facts. I am grateful to share my life with you, my close friends and family. I'm grateful to begin writing the words that may clear the way for my being a more loving, authentic presence in your lives. Thanks for letting me share my process in this adventure.

RS